11.8. Making sense of bad English.

Dear Lady Forbsworth,

                        I would like to congratulate you for the most very fine performance tonight of the Royal Revue Bar. I would like to congratulate you on a very fine performance tonight at the Royal Revue Bar. You are a exceptional woman of marvellous proportions, and although the Royal Revue Bar is a delightful place, I think that you could look better in the Royal Palaces of the The Free People’s Republic of Zangonia. You are an exceptional woman of marvellous proportions, (strange English, but grammatically correct) and although the Royal Revue Bar is a delightful place, I think that you would look better in the Royal Palaces of the The Free People’s Republic of Zangonia. (This guy’s English is not that bad!) This is my home that I live, This is the house where I live … /the home in which I live… where I am married with twelve other loving women…where I am married to twelve other lovely women.  

            Ass you can immagine, As you can imagine, I am a men of enormous health. I am a man of enormous wealth.  In fact, I am one of the richest gentleman in the hole world. In fact I am one of the richest gentlemen in the whole world. But my riches is nothing, if I wouldn’t have you. But my riches are nothing if I can’t have you. (This man is such a dandy!) You are the most beautiful ruby, that a man could have putted his eye over. You are the most beautiful ruby that a man could set his eyes on. / look upon, etc  You have to be mine. OK. You haven’t to be anybody elses. I could not allow for it.. You can’t  be anyone else’s. I couldn’t allow it.

            For this reason, I must to look into those pearls, which are your eye. For this reason, I must look into those pearls that are your eyes. Tonight, my flour! Tonight my flower. It should be tonight that I stare at you, and you aloan…you alone.  Tonite, tonight  I will watch the reflection of the stars in your black eyes,…in your dark eyes… (Black eyes are what you get if someone hits you.)  below the silver moon.

            It gives me great pleasure learn that you is off nobel birth. …to learn that you are of noble birth. My father shall be excretiatingly happy for we. ..excruciatingly (synonym of extremely) happy for us. He is also an extremely healthy man two. He is also an extremely wealthy man too. He owns one of the Premium League teams, a big department shopper …,department shop… and very properties all threw Big Britain…and many properties throughout Great Britain. In marrying with me, On marrying me… you shall also become a women of enormous health. … a woman of enormous health. Please allow me to show to you my hapenis by enclosing this emerald, in anticipation to the precious jewels that you will demonstrate me in the Royal Place. Please allow me to show you my happiness by enclosing this emerald, in anticipation of the precious jewels that you will show me in the royal palace.

            Sincerely yours,OK

            Ali.

A good effort Ali. A few little mistakes, but in general far better than the homework of the other imbeciles you have as classmates. Well done.