12.10. Do or make?

ZAK: Let’s get back to the flat. We need to make a plan. We have made quite a mess. What are we going to do?

AHMET: Well, let’s look at the situation that we are in. There’s a drunken man about a kilometre from here. We need to go and get him home so that he won’t remember anything and won’t be able to do any harm. If he walk out into the street, he’ll find a hundred reporters waiting to give him an interview, and a hundred photographers waiting to take his photo. We will be in big trouble. We’ll end up in prison and we will be deported back to our countries.

ZAK WASHINGTON: Yep. Then we’ll have an international situation. The Queen was going to let one of her relations marry this man. Now the good reputation that he has spent years making has been ruined. He has been corrupted and turned into an alcoholic …... by us!

SOPHIE: By you, more like!

GIOVANNI: We need to get Ali out of that flat as quickly as possible, without anybody finding out. All we have to do is to put him onto an aeroplane and get him back to his home country and then we just pretend that it was all a case of mistaken identity.

AHMET: Yeah, but how are we going to do that?

GIOVANNI: It’s very easy. I have got an idea. All we have to do is to organize a press conference in a different part of town and we’ll explain about what really happened and all the reporters will go there.

AHMET: Great idea! 

ZAK: Oh yeah. That’s a fantastic idea, that is. And then….. yeah, right… all the reporters and the press will go over there. All we need is somebody who can keep talking for a while without really saying anything…

AHMET: Who can do that?

EVERYBODY: (getting the same idea at the same time) THE TICKET INSPECTOR!!!!

ZAK WASHINGTON: You Sir, are a genius.